


The 2nd Annual Science of Deduction Conference

by pocketbookangel



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Baritsu, Complete, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Sherstrade, The Science of Deduction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 13:37:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1984941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocketbookangel/pseuds/pocketbookangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's probably not a good idea to tell Sherlock he can do anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The 2nd Annual Science of Deduction Conference

**Author's Note:**

  * For [archea2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/archea2/gifts).



> Happy (belated) birthday!
> 
> Consider this my inadequate "thank you" for the time you swooped in with a recs list when I was new to this fandom and starting to feel a little bit crazy for not being interested in Johnlock, and for your kind and encouraging comments, and for writing some truly delightful fics. :)

Saturday mornings in the office were usually calm thanks to London’s criminals saving most of their murdering for Saturday nights. In his pre-Sherlock days, Lestrade would always stay at the office, ticking the boxes and worrying at the paperwork that seemed to multiply in an almost biblical fashion. Now, a good Saturday morning was one spent in bed, Sherlock sleepy and possessive, while a bad Saturday morning, like this one, was spent wondering why Sherlock had spent the last week preoccupied, quiet, and unresponsive to texts.

It was hard not to worry about Sherlock when there were so many subtle and less-than-subtle reminders of him at work. Lestrade studied the report on his screen. It all appeared to be in order, except for one or two unusual phrases, phrases that could attract unfriendly attention from high places. He called the author of the report into his office.

DS Hopkins had a confident walk, practically a swagger, which he was almost good-looking enough to bring off. He slowed down a little when he saw Lestrade, headmaster-grim and unimpressed.

“Hopkins, I was reading your report, and I came across something interesting. _We were assisted in our inquiries by a helpful bystander (~_^) who was able to deduce which direction the thieves had taken._ What the hell is going on in that parentheses?”

“Well, I was trying to say _helpful bystander_ , know what I mean?” Hopkins opened his left eye comically large, and winked with his right.

Lestrade shuddered. “That… don’t do that again. Members of my team aren’t allowed to work with Sherlock Holmes—”

“Because you’re dating him. It’s not fair, all of the other detectives—”

Debating the unfairness of life was never a productive use of anyone’s time. “Rewrite the report and send it to me immediately. This time without the faces.”

“Can I do it later? I did tell our ‘helpful bystander’ I would get out there early to help him move your furniture into the garden.”

“And don’t do quote marks with your fingers or in the report. I shouldn’t have to say…” Lestrade paused and tried to make sense out of Hopkins’ second sentence. “What did you tell Sherlock you would do?”

According to the brochure Hopkins sheepishly handed over, the 2nd Annual Science of Deduction Conference was currently being held in Lestrade’s house in Surrey.

> SOD the Conference
> 
> _Tea and coffee are included and will be available in the refreshment pavilion. Individual packets of crisps are for sale in the front room. The family-size Cheese & Onion belong to the owner of the house and are not to be touched._
> 
> 10:00 - 10:50 Opening Remarks – Sherlock Holmes (front room)
> 
> 11:00 – 11:50 How is the Science of Deduction superior to traditional forensics? – Philip Anderson (guest bedroom)
> 
> 11:00 – 11:50 Building your own Mind Palace, meditation and mental dwellings - Sherlock Holmes (front room)
> 
> 12:00 – 12:50 Sherlock Holmes vs HOLMES, the role of the consultant in an age of computers – DCI Tobias Gregson (guest bedroom)
> 
> 12:00 – 12:50 Baritsu, the scientific martial art – Sherlock Holmes (front room)
> 
> 13:00 – 13:20 LUNCH
> 
> 13:30 – 15:20 Baritsu, a practical demonstration – Sherlock Holmes, John Watson (front room)
> 
> 13:30 – 14:20 Wines of the Rhône river valley - DI Athelney Jones (kitchen)
> 
> 14:30 – 15:20 TBA – Dr Molly Hooper (TBA)
> 
> 15:30 – 17:00 Closing remarks – Sherlock Holmes (front room)

London’s traffic gave Lestrade plenty of time to think about all of the angry shouting he had planned for Sherlock. Who in their right mind would give Sherlock money to learn a style of fighting inspired by the samurai films he'd watched as part of an investigation into a group that was using failing cinemas to launder money. Frequent posters at the Science of Deduction, some of the younger and more eager elements in the CID, and Anderson.

If it hadn’t been for the living room set artfully arranged around a small yew tree instead of a fireplace, Lestrade wouldn’t have known his house had been commandeered as a conference centre. As he approached his front door, he could hear Sherlock, voice low and soothing, telling his listeners to be aware of their breathing.

Through the window, Lestrade could see that the floor of his furniture-free front room was covered in Sherlockians, some with deerstalkers pulled over their eyes, obediently breathing and counting. He tapped on the window, and Sherlock looked up. When he saw Lestrade, his face lost its guru solemnity and he smiled, the bright, genuine smile that transformed his eyes from wintry grey to joyous summer, the smile that had first broken and then restored Lestrade’s heart so many times in the past.

Lestrade tapped on the window again. “Outside, now.”

English weather had a tendency to be English weather, otherwise Lestrade would have considered keeping his furniture outside. The beige sofa matched the grass and the hedges as much as it did the wallpaper, and the coffee table appeared to have sprung from the ground mushroom-style. Lestrade sank into his favourite chair and put his feet up. Now that Sherlock was joining him outside, all he needed was a cigarette to complete the scene.

“I’m afraid the conference is strictly non-smoking,” Sherlock said. He sat down on the table, next to Lestrade’s outstretched legs. “In case you were wondering, this spot is where you used to keep your ashtray, and I could see you staring at it with regret.” He patted Lestrade’s knee affectionately. “Also, I was sitting out here earlier and I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I wanted to smoke. Maybe I should try a pipe.”

“Sherlock, what made you think you could fill up my house with people in hats?”

“Students of detection.”

“What made you think you could fill up my house with students of detection?”

“You said I could.”

“I would’ve remembered that.”

“It was a couple of months ago. You said that you would always say yes to anything, as long as it didn’t involve handcuffs. You’ve seen the programme, not a single restraining device to be found.”

A couple of months ago, he’d taken Sherlock out for a post-case celebratory drink, but Sherlock had been eager for other activities and unwilling to wait until they were safely back at the flat. Sherlock had said, _now, here where no one can see us_ , and Lestrade had said _yes_.

Sherlock's smile faded. "Oh. That was a sex-yes, not an everything-yes."

"If you thought that was an everything-yes, do I even want to know what else you've done?"

"I did hope you'd come today, so I put you on the VIP list. You get a golden ticket you can exchange for a lager in the refreshment pavilion." He took a badge and yellow lanyard out of his pocket. "It's in your kitchen."

The photo on the badge was old, probably taken from one of the first warrant cards Sherlock had stolen.

Quickly, Lestrade leaned forward and kissed Sherlock on the mouth. "Thank you," he said.

Sherlock caught him before he could move back. "There are other VIP privileges," he whispered into Lestrade's ear before pressing his lips against the rough patches of skin that never seemed to be properly shaved.

"And they are..." 

Possessive arms holding him close, small, approving noises as Sherlock touched every part of his face. Lestrade couldn't imagine they'd ever wasted their Saturdays in any other way.

Cheers, shouts, and a few whistles broke their reverie. They had an audience—to Lestrade, it looked like everyone they had ever known was crowded around the windows, or jostling for a better view from the front door. "Let's give them something for their mind palaces, yeah?"

They kissed again, a kiss that held every possible variation of _yes_.

**Author's Note:**

> Later, Greg is surprised and confused when he finds out that John and Mrs Hudson are also VIPs. And, Sherlock may have forgot to tell Molly she was scheduled to speak.
> 
> The events that transpired at the 1st Annual Science of Deduction Conference are classified due to an order from the British Government. When asked about it, Sherlock says that events like this always have a difficult first year, everyone enjoyed themselves, and Mycroft can be so judgemental.


End file.
